-by Dr. Tim Grivois, Executive Director
When I think about helping students with anxiety, I always come back to this one truth: no matter how much we want to, we can’t do it alone. Anxiety isn’t just something kids experience at school, and it isn’t something they leave at the door when they go home. It’s a constant presence in their lives, and the best way to support them is to work alongside the people who know them best—their families.
But here’s the thing about partnering with families: it’s not always easy. Just like students, families are unique. They’re navigating their own challenges, balancing work, life, and sometimes their own anxiety. That’s why building a consistent support system for students takes real collaboration, compassion, and a willingness to listen.
Start with Connection
Before anything else, you have to build trust. I think about the families I’ve worked with over the years, and the best partnerships didn’t start with strategies or interventions. They started with a simple conversation.
It might look like this:
– Reaching out just to introduce yourself and share something positive about their child.
– Sending a quick email to let them know you see the good in their kid, even on hard days.
– Taking a moment during conferences to ask, “What’s one thing you want me to know about your child?”
When families feel seen and valued, they’re more likely to open up about what’s going on at home—and that’s where the real work begins.
Listen to Their Stories
Every family has a story, and those stories hold the key to understanding how to help their child. Some families might tell you about sleepless nights or struggles with homework. Others might share moments of triumph, like how their child finally asked a question in class after weeks of silence.
Take time to listen. Not every family will have solutions or even know what they need, but just being heard can make all the difference.
Here’s a tip: ask open-ended questions, like:
– “What do you notice helps your child when they’re feeling anxious?”
– “Are there things they do at home that help them calm down?”
– “How can I make school feel like a safer space for them?”
Share What Works at School
As educators, we see students in a unique setting—one where they’re navigating social dynamics, academic challenges, and a lot of sensory input all at once. That perspective is valuable.
If you’ve found a strategy that helps a student manage their anxiety, share it with their family. Maybe it’s a breathing technique they use before tests, or maybe it’s a quiet corner in the classroom where they can reset. Families can adapt these ideas for home, creating consistency that helps students feel supported everywhere.
On the flip side, be open to learning from families, too. They know their child better than anyone, and their insights can inform your approach in ways you might not have considered.
Keep Communication Open
This part is non-negotiable. Consistency is everything when it comes to supporting students with anxiety, and that requires ongoing communication between school and home.
Here are some ideas to keep the conversation going:
– Weekly Updates: A quick email or message sharing highlights from the week—what went well and what challenges came up.
– Collaborative Planning: Invite families to be part of the conversation when creating support plans or accommodations.
– Check-Ins: Schedule regular touchpoints to revisit what’s working and what needs adjustment.
And remember: communication doesn’t always have to be formal. A quick note or a kind word can go a long way in showing families you’re on their team.
Honor Their Expertise
Families are the experts on their children, and that expertise deserves respect. Even if they don’t have all the answers, their perspective is invaluable.
One mom I worked with described her son’s anxiety as “a storm that comes out of nowhere.” She didn’t always know how to calm the storm, but she knew when it was coming. That insight helped me recognize the warning signs in class and adjust my approach before things escalated.
Partnering with families isn’t about proving who knows more—it’s about pooling knowledge to create the best possible support system for the child.
Building Bridges, Not Walls
Here’s what I want you to remember: families aren’t just part of the support system—they are the support system. When we partner with them, we’re not just helping their child; we’re creating a foundation of trust and collaboration that benefits everyone.
Anxiety doesn’t follow a schedule. It doesn’t stop when the bell rings or take weekends off. But when school and home work together, students can feel supported no matter where they are.
And that’s what this work is all about: showing kids that they’re not alone, that the adults in their lives see them, value them, and are willing to do whatever it takes to help them thrive.
Because at the end of the day, it’s not about having all the answers—it’s about walking alongside them, one step at a time.
Here’s a resource with some concrete strategies for communicating with families…choose any that you think would help: Click here.